Guerilla Dance Theatre

I learned this week that out of suffering we can create beauty and take action toward change. It has inspired me to found the Guerilla Dance Theatre Company.

Dance theatre is something I discovered while living in London, England, from 2007-2008. It spoke to me as an audience member in a way like no other dance I have done (ballet, jazz, hip hop, swing, flamenco) could. I have had the great privilege of studying modern dance with Cumbrae, Elaine Hunter, Caithream Celtic Dance Fusion and Natasha Royka Pilates and Dance, all in Ottawa. I credit Natasha for my 6 year incubation and recent awareness of my dance vocabulary.

I doubted that I had a dance vocabulary: I'm not a dancer, I told myself time and again. I'm too fat, too short, too busty, too (formally) untrained. I can remember looking into the ballet mirror at the age of 8 and realizing I was one of the larger girls in my class. Others perhaps unintentionally impressed it on me that there was little value in pursuing my passion to dance, and I was vocally discouraged from auditioning for theatre at Canterbury High School. When I didn't audition for theatre school after high school, I felt I had personally failed my drama teacher and mentor, Bernard Leger, who had taught me leadership skills and saw in me what I couldn't see in myself. Because of him, I am the arts activist I am today. And now it is time to put that activism into the art I defend so heartily in the city I love so much.

My dad and I at the Victoria Theatre, London, UK before Billy Elliot

Fast forward 6 years, age 22. I'm sitting in London, England, with my dad at the Victoria Theatre performance of Billy Elliot in London's West End, and before the show starts he turns to me and feels the need to exorcise a parental regret. He is moving me in on the eve of starting my Master's program at the London School of Economics and he says something along the lines of, "I know you've always wanted to dance, if you would like to do that now, I give you my blessing." I feel shocked. What do I do with my 40,000$CDN line of credit? How do I get a visa to make money as a dancer with my student visa to study at LSE. If I dance professionally, how do I pay back the loan? No, I tell myself, this is an impractical and albeit bittersweet permission that comes too little, too late.

Dancers from Surrationality after the LSESU's recital, Soul Calibre, choreographer Francesca Cookney in the Centre, February 2008, Old Building, LSE Campus

But of course it's never too late. Timing is a perception that resides in one's mind and is confined by one's expectations. I re-discovered modern dance at the London School of Economics Student Dance Union where I was cast in two pieces for their annual revue. That year, I danced and acted my way through my Master's - what I look back on now as an anthropologist to be an intellectual and character building ritual; a rite of passage of Gen Ys. But dancing was an enthralling experience, and one that helped me translate and channel the culture shock of a.) graduate studies b.) in British culture. I was so impressed with the calibre and professionalism of all of the performers that I felt like I had a little bit of the art school experience I always wanted. All of us were closeted artists: my choreographer was doing her Master's in geography, the fellow dancers were doing classic LSE curricula in International Relations. We were going to go to law school, start careers with the UN, save the world and earn a living after this formation. My choreographer, a wonderful inspiration, has since told me that she has shut the door on her dance life, and it saddens me, because I know one can have it all if one makes balance a priority.

So I have. In the middle of a demanding law school curriculum, I have founded the Guerilla Dance Theatre Company with the support of my husband and friends. It will shock, it will critique, and it will inspire as only I hope it can.